Once a year we celebrate
With stupid hats and plastic plates,
The fact that you were able to make
Another trip around the sun.

And the whole clan gathers round
And gifts and laughter do abound,
And we let out a joyful sound
And sing that stupid song!

Happy birthday!
Now you're one year older!

Happy birthday!
Your life still isn't over!

Happy birthday!
You did not accomplish much!
But you didn't die this year,
I guess that's good enough.