If you take only two things away from this documentation of failure, let it be this:
Van Helsing sucks.
When it comes to being sneaky, ALWAYS take Smurfy's advice.

Me and Smurfy were at the theater, attempting to orchestrate 'The Plan', right? So we bought tickets to 'Van Helsing', right?
Before I go on, the plan in it's entirety was to sneak into Kill Bill Volume 2. That's IT.
And so, we tried. And those two annoying theater-employee-girls came in after us and asked to see our tickets. Are you hearing this? They FOLLOWED US INSIDE THE THEATER. This is a fact. They left promptly after discovering these were not, in fsact, our seats.

Leaving me and Smurfy to watch classic literature be brutally and metaphorically raped for two hours and fifteen minutes.

But later that night, I was thinking. We were being confronted by two weak girls, barely a year older than us. They couldnt really have made us leave.
Another possiblility, or rather the same, taken to it's logical conclusion: They might bring in their manager, who has nothing better to do than bother kids. What then? Why, we claim that we're instituting an act of civil disobedience. And if they beat us to a bloody pulp and drag us out of the theater, we can swear revenge.

That's basically what they did, actually.
So that's basically what we'll do.