So, about a week ago, Smurfy is over at my house, and we're discussing abortion.

I says: "Wow, Smurfy, I thought that abortion was a woman's right to take control of her own body. I never realized it was just pure, simple baby-killing!"

And he says: "Yeah, we get that a lot."

So I says: "We?"

Then a bunch of republicans broke into my house and kicked me in the balls.

Now the doctors tell me only surgery will make them work again.